Dial D for Dustbag
This weekend saw the occurrence of a surreal experience even by my standards that I feel compelled to share.
There i was vacuuming, with a vacuum cleaner the size of a hairdryer that still uses those paper dustbag thingumijiggies. Halfway through the living room, the vacuum cleaner made what can only be described as the sound of someone choking on a fly. Poor fly. Anyway. Basically one of the pipe thingumijigs came out of the main frame thingy splatterring dust everywhere. (Thingummy = technical jargon, of course.)
The vacuum was basically dead. After trying everything from kicking, to switching plugs i decided it must be the dustbag. Easy-i can change a dustbag! Open vacuum. Remove dustbag. REMOVE dustbag. Remooooove dustbag damnit! Dustbag extracted!!! Success. Replace dustbag. Ummm....discover have run out of dustbags...on a Sunday afternoon.
Now this is the bit where it goes from mundane to mad. Instead of deciding to wait for a day until i could go buy more dustbags, i decided the job must be finished now, now NOW! Some wierd part of my brain, which I am now convinced was descended from Dr. Frankenstein, decided: "I know! I vill disect zeee old dustbag, yah, und fix eet to an oooold grocery paper bag vun yah, und i vill haff a new home-made dustbag! Eeeegzellent! Igor, bring my scalpel No. 3"
So proceed I did. Cut off the top of the dustbag that fits into the vaccum (choking on dust in the process even though i did have the forethought to do this in the garden and into a big bin bag). Cut a grocery paper bag down to size and sellotape it to the dustbag top.
Dr. Frankenstein would have been proud. (Despite the downgrade to home appliance dissection, and with an imagined Igor thanks to Igor rights legislation.)
My creation was ready! All i needed was lightning!!!!! Thunder! Strike! Live! LIIIIIIVE! LIIIVEEEE! Oh fine. I'll just use the plug.
The crazy thing is, it works. Better than bought dustbags. Except next time i will not use sellotape but staples. Sellotape methinks overheats the engine. This will also be helping the environment by recycling paper bags.
Surreal, but functional. Rather like Dali's lobster telephone, non?
There i was vacuuming, with a vacuum cleaner the size of a hairdryer that still uses those paper dustbag thingumijiggies. Halfway through the living room, the vacuum cleaner made what can only be described as the sound of someone choking on a fly. Poor fly. Anyway. Basically one of the pipe thingumijigs came out of the main frame thingy splatterring dust everywhere. (Thingummy = technical jargon, of course.)
The vacuum was basically dead. After trying everything from kicking, to switching plugs i decided it must be the dustbag. Easy-i can change a dustbag! Open vacuum. Remove dustbag. REMOVE dustbag. Remooooove dustbag damnit! Dustbag extracted!!! Success. Replace dustbag. Ummm....discover have run out of dustbags...on a Sunday afternoon.
Now this is the bit where it goes from mundane to mad. Instead of deciding to wait for a day until i could go buy more dustbags, i decided the job must be finished now, now NOW! Some wierd part of my brain, which I am now convinced was descended from Dr. Frankenstein, decided: "I know! I vill disect zeee old dustbag, yah, und fix eet to an oooold grocery paper bag vun yah, und i vill haff a new home-made dustbag! Eeeegzellent! Igor, bring my scalpel No. 3"
So proceed I did. Cut off the top of the dustbag that fits into the vaccum (choking on dust in the process even though i did have the forethought to do this in the garden and into a big bin bag). Cut a grocery paper bag down to size and sellotape it to the dustbag top.
Dr. Frankenstein would have been proud. (Despite the downgrade to home appliance dissection, and with an imagined Igor thanks to Igor rights legislation.)
My creation was ready! All i needed was lightning!!!!! Thunder! Strike! Live! LIIIIIIVE! LIIIVEEEE! Oh fine. I'll just use the plug.
The crazy thing is, it works. Better than bought dustbags. Except next time i will not use sellotape but staples. Sellotape methinks overheats the engine. This will also be helping the environment by recycling paper bags.
Surreal, but functional. Rather like Dali's lobster telephone, non?
posted by Balcancan at 8/16/2005
2 Comments:
You have entirely too much time on your hands. You must have a dissertation to write.
You genius!
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